HOLY SHIT I’M IN TIME MAGAZINE!!!

Read the Article Here!

I’m on the Second Page of the Article…if you want a signed copy, buy one and I’ll sign it for you =P

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

82% on my Arabic Mid Term!

bwhahahahahaha

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Stan: dude he’s in there punishing my toilet
Kyle: yeah…that poor, poor thing.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/03/20/leisure.southpark.reut/index.html

Martha Stewart manner
You’re the Martha Stewart of skincare, and it shows in other areas of your life. (Are you one of those people who do your taxes in February?) You probably read the instructions on your fancy rare-herb skin mask before you use it, and floss twice a day, too. That’s great! Without people like you, the trains would never run on time. You should probably put your obedience to your skincare regimen on your resume as proof of your organizational skills.

What’s in your medicine cabinet? Find out now!

The conversation that I had…well, more like a monologue, is enough explanation for what happend this morning

“There’s my Transcript”

“When did the incident happen?”

“THE Incident? Here is where I fell six feet into a cement floor, smashed in all of my teeth, lacarated my lip, injured my back and broke my nose…here is where my teacher failed me because I missed class three times for oral surgery despite the fact that I had a B in the class (because I need my teeth to eat and to speak) and she called me the elephant man…here is where one friend died, here another, and here another, and here another, and here another, here is where my grandfather died, here is where my father had a tumor in his knee, here is where my best friends mother attempted suicide, here is where the university administration villified me and tried to make the claim that I was a druggie and an alcoholic to save their own skin - if I sound angry, I assure you that I am not angry at you - but I am tired of this constant fight…while all of the above was going on I managed to pull a 2.6, obtain three certifications - two national, one state - lecture both nationally and internationally to crowds of no less than 400 people and I WILL NOT be at this university for another two years under this grey sky because of the mistakes of others. I WILL be graduating in June of 2007…and those two C’s in the Comm Department? I challenge anyone to take a course from Brian Reynolds back to back, get a higher grade than a C and NOT slit their wrists; I left claw marks of boredom on the desk…I NEED to take both Hebrew and Arabic 201 in the Fall and Hebrew and Arabic 202 in the Spring as well as the other required courses I need to graduate and I need those overrides and I WILL be graduating”

“I wanted to see if you’re serious about it, you are…they’re yours…just be careful”

“Thank you”

“Matt…”

“Yes?”

“I want to let you know…I believe you”

“Thank you.”

(21:27:28) Eli: iiiyak

(21:27:37) Matthew L. Schwartz: iiiyak =?
(21:27:48) Eli: ihhh
(21:27:55) Matthew L. Schwartz: ihhh?
(21:28:01) Eli: fuck u??
(21:28:04) Matthew L. Schwartz: …what we have here, is a failure to communicate
(21:28:22) Matthew L. Schwartz: and don’t make offers that you can’t back up =P
(21:28:48) Eli: true

–

(21:30:16) Eli: i’m gonnalook so hot tomorrow
(21:30:28) Matthew L. Schwartz: are you dancing in fiesta?
(21:31:03) Eli: god forbid. i have an internshop interview
(21:31:09) Matthew L. Schwartz: ohhh lol
(21:31:13) Matthew L. Schwartz: yay =D good luck!
(21:31:36) Eli: did you know that interview is a synonim of an asshole?
(21:31:39) Eli: hahaha
(21:31:48) Eli: i just thought about it
(21:31:54) Matthew L. Schwartz: 0_o